A Blade and A Scepter
by GoldenDiscord
Summary: Elsa has decided to take a little vacation to the mountains. A vacations she's planned to end in suicide, if she's brave enough. With that being said, who's gonna take over the throne to Arendale? Probably Anna. Well this should be interesting...
1. Chapter 1

**Before I start, I'd like to thank RandomButLoved for finding the time to Beta my story. And make it a lot more awesome **

"Elllssaaa!" I heard Anna's voice call from down the hall. I sigh as a smile creeps onto my face. I turn around to watch as Anna comes skipping into my room and stops at the door way; looking at me with giddy eyes that have never faded since we were children, something that I couldn't fully experience with her. She hangs onto the edge of the door and swings as she says: "I'm so bored!" I smile warmly, fully turning away from my bag.

"Congratulations." I say playfully, smirking as I roll my eyes.

"No!" Anna whines, although it is far too child like to be angry at all. "No "congratulations"! I need something to do!" She finally ceases with hanging dangerously far off of the door, and I would be concerned that the door-frame would snap; but it isn't like Anna is all that fat, right? With another sigh, quieter this time, I meet her gaze fully.

"Anna... I'd love to play with you ,or whatever you wish to call it, but I'm busy right now."

Anna cocks her head and raises an eyebrow, skeptically wondering what I mean without uttering a word. I gesture to the suitcase and clothes gathered on my bed. "I'm packing!" For a moment she looks confused, then it hits her, causing her to laugh greatly as she finally steps into the room.

"Oh yea! I totally forgot you were going to the mountains for the week!" Anna giggles. "Why are you going again?"

"My advisers think... they think that it'll be a good chance to clear my head and just relax. Get some of this... stress out of my system."

Anna nods gravely. She tries to hide the concern and sorrow but I can still sense it. Why would my sister feel this way at my words? Well, I'll tell you. As you can guess, being a Queen is pretty hard. You've got responsibilities and all those people looking up to you. It's frightening to know that even the smallest little decision I make could change my kingdom. It's a lot of hard work.

And lately, I've realized I'm not the best person qualified to do it. I feel awful, since I was born a royal. The Gods should have known I'd never fit into this role, especially not with my ice powers. Sometimes I think that I was just put on this earth for a cheap laugh. Like the only reason that I am alive is to be a joke. The girl who never wins. The girl who is a failure. And I will take that feeling to my grave. Because I know all to well it's true.

Who doubts it?

I'm pretty sure the rest of Arendelle knows that to, and I wouldn't blame them. And they don't need to see the scars on my arms for proof. My advisers noticed how down I've seemed lately. And yet, Anna was really the only one who really cared. We both knew she knew what's going on. What I am doing in my room when it's dark. She's been trying to cheer my up lately but it's not really working. Every time I see her I keep thinking I'll do something crazy and hurt her.

Again. I've already nearly killed her twice. A third time would push me over the edge.

"Are you sure I can't come with you?" Anna, a hopeful smile creasing her tanned features as she begs to the Gods that, after the millionth time as querying the same question over and over again, that she will finally break through the barrier of ice around my heart; physically and metaphorically, I suppose. I laugh lightly, although we both know that it is forced.

"Anna, I told you, my advisers think I should spend my time alone. I'd love to have some quality time with you, though."

"Well I hope your va-ca actually does what it's supposed to." Anna comments. I nod, though I don't have the strength to say anything in particular. Anna runs over to me and hugs me tightly. I smile and return the embrace. I can't help but think this will be probably the last time I'll get to spend time with her. You see, when I agreed to go on this little journey to the mountains, I never exactly planned on coming back.

I'm sure no one would really mind, though. People would probably miss having a ruler, but they'd get over my death eventually. The one person I can think of who would never get over it is the one hugging me. I feel guilty, of course, for planning this; more than anyone could ever know when it comes to having this feeling housed inside of you since birth.

But I feel like it'll do everyone some good, no matter what it does to me.

And yet, all too soon it is over. Anna pulls away from the hug and excuses herself for something. Princessly duties, I'm sure, since I barely hear her over the torrent raging in my heart and mind. I hold on to my sanity for as long as I can, although I can never keep it for long. I stare at the doorway for far too long, begging that she didn't have to leave; even if now we'll never see each other again...


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone for their lovely reviews! They make me happy.

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The ride to the mountains Is long and tedious and never seemed to _end._ I feel like I needed it to be over soon so I could do what must be done. I couldn't blame anyone the ride was so long. I requested to go to the mountain farthest away from society. I knew I couldn't be disturbed there. Suddenly the carriage stops and I know the trip is finally over. Someone opens the door of the carriage for me and helps me out. I thanked them, whoever they were.

I gather up my luggage and start to walk away without any form of security, nor any form of comfort from the presence of other humans beings. Someone, the person who helped me out of the carriage I soon discover, realises this and halts me near instantly. "Your Majesty!" He, I now see, cries in protest; though soft enough to stay in pure etiquette. "You don't intend to go alone, do you?" I resist the urge to roll my eyes at him, so I claps my hands together instead.

"Yes, I am." I say, ever so slightly irritated that he is asking such a question. I can feel the ice bubbling through my veins, and I know exactly what will happen if it is released. My Father had always told me to conceal such powers, therefore not to feel any of it. No matter how cold that has physically made me, you have to be cold to be Queen.

"Oh, but Your Highness!" He persists nervously. "You must take the royal guards with you, just in case!"

"But they didn't come along." I say with pure _perplexity,_ only to be stopped this time by the sudden shrill cry of horses when I begin to leave the situation again. I twist around, finding another carriage rolling up behind me. I sigh, even if it sounds more like a groan than anything. That must be them. Three men in military uniforms step out of the carriage.

I know that they can't come. That'd ruin the entire purpose for coming here. Not only will I be unable to follow through on my plans but I won't get the solitude my advisers suggested. There was a certain feeling I got, a feeling where I was so happy that everything was finally going my way. And yet then something came and smashed that joy until nothing remained. And I literally feel down, like my skin and soul are both sagging so everyone can see how depressed I am.

That at feeling comes about right now. I can't let them go with me.

I stand up tall and try to act confident. "Gentlemen, I appreciate your willingness to protect me, but I cannot have you come up to the mountains with me." I say. I'm surprised at how confident and bold I sound. The men look at each other in confusion, wondering why their dying Queen was refusing such protection.

"But, Your Highness..." One of them, I can't fully recall their name to me at the moment as they meet my stony, no, my icy gaze. "What if someone come and tries to harm you?"

"Just because I am a woman does not mean that I cannot defend myself." I say as boldly as I can, though it sounds much quieter than I wanted it to me, forming a snowflake with my hand with a flourish of my fingers. Everyone nods. They probably forgot, even for a spilt second, that I had my ice powers. "Besides," I add moments after. "My advisers instructed that I need time alone." I know I am going to win this. They can't fight against me. I am the Queen; for now, at least.

No one else responds. I smiled, a rarity for me, and picked up my bags. Then I finally begin walking up to the mountain alone, remembering the last time that I had done this; my Kingdom underneath a shroud of ice and snow. There is a little path that had been made which I followed strictly. I love being in the mountains. All the snow gathered around on the crisp, sparkling rocks mesmerises me, and the view is incredible. You can see all of Arendelle, and even a bit of Wesletin, from here.

What a great place to spend my final moments, a dark voice sneers from inside, one that speaks the truth completely.

At the top of the mountain stand a cave. I figure this is a nice place to stop and stay in until I can move on again. As I set down my bags, I wonder if I should just get things over with now. Now is good a time as any: I am alone in a place that I love, so who can go against such an idea? I open my suitcase and start rummaging through it. I knew the knife that I was going to use was wrapped in a red cloth. For a moment, I halt in my scouring.

I didn't really notice the irony in that until now.

Once I spot the cloth, I just stared at it for a minute, locking my gaze onto the material that gleams in the twilight. I stared at my future, like my fate that will be sealed by destiny in a few swings. After a few shaky breaths, I reach my hand into my bag and grasp the cloth delicately. I try to be careful not to cut my fingers as I pick it up, watching as the the sun immediately shimmers off the metal intently as I unwrap the cloth.

I take the blade in my hand and sit down, thoughts spiraling through my brain li_ke_ a blizzard as my heart starts pounding against my chest so harshly that it could break free of my entire body at any second. I hadn't decided how I was going to kill myself yet, even if such thoughts have entered my mind too many times before. I could run the blade through my heart, I think to myself, as if it was child's play. No, that'd be too messy. And I knew I couldn't bring myself to do that. My thoughts stops completely when I realise something.

I could just cut my arm until I hit a vein, I suppose. Who knows how long that'd take? But I had a week, I guess. It was a simple method that would be far easier to complete, and I got to work.

Well at least I try to...

I place the sharp side of the knife on my wrist, but for some reason, I can't bring myself to slide it across the pale flesh of my wrist. My breaths become quicker and shorter at the same time. My heart pounds so much I felt it might burst out of my chest in moments now. I wish it would so I didn't have to do anything myself. I bite my lip hard; and I don't stop until I taste the awful metallic taste of blood. I curse myself for being so cowardly. I know I would try to work my way out of this, I know it though I desperately try to not to admit it.

I sigh. I force myself to lightly drag the blade across my skin. That was just proof I could do this. The next cut is deeper. I watch as a bit of blood trickles up from the fresh scar.

I've heard most people do this for a release or as a way to take away the pain, but I don't; I do this as a punishment. A punishment for being myself. A punishment for being a freak. A punishment for being ugly. A punishment for hating myself. I know I deserve every scar I give myself. That's what keeps my going. That's what brings the knife down harder and deeper. I can never cut without a tear leaking out. I never know why I cry. I can't tell if it's from the pain on my wrist or my wishes I could be someone else.

I don't dwell on it.

After each cut, I stop and look at it for a moment – to see if it drew blood. To see if it actually can be seen. But then I go back and try to make the next cut deeper so people can see this. I want people to know I hate myself as much as they hate me. They finally will know, I think as I let the beautiful pain take over me.

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There you go. Kinda a short chapter but it sorta hit home for me. Yea, I got most of the stuff fro, this chapter from personal experience. Anyway I hope you liked it. Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Anna sat on the couch and stared blankly at the wall. She was bored out of her skull. Elsa had been for the whole week. The week was painful and reminded her too much of her past. She was so glad that would all end today. Elsa was supposed to be back at the castle today. She said it'd be some time around noon. It was 1:34. Anna had a feeling that something was wrong, but she tried to push that from her mind.

Anna heard someone knock on the door. She glanced over with desperation, hoping against hope to know whether her sister was about to arrive, her emotions going out of control when she saw a servant standing in the doorway. "The royal advisors have requested your presence, Your Majesty." He told her politely, bow to her once.

Her stomach dropped, her heart freezing over like it had done what felt like so long ago. She didn't expect that; not at all. Normally it was Elsa who met up with the advisers. Whatever they had to say must have been important, something so important that the Queen didn't have to be there in order for the word to get across.

Anna followed the servant into the large room where all the royal affairs were taken care of. There was a giant table in the room that might have been able to hold up to 200 people. Anna had only been in there a few times, and then it was only to find more boredom than she all ready had across her life. At the table sat a group of men that she recognized to be the advisers, all of which were all shouting at each other. It was sort of awkward for Anna to just be standing there. She figured she should just leave, since none of them noticed her anyway.

Almost on cue one of them called the Princess's name. In a few seconds the room was silent and everyone's eyes were on Anna. As a deathly silence filled the room, Anna realised how easily she could possibly choke on it, the Princess of Arendelle cleared her throat and said: "You wanted to see me?" She had nothing else to say other than this, unsure of what else she could have said. The room made her words echo, unnerving her a little.

"Yes..." One of then said uneasily, gesturing to one of the fancier seats at the end of the table closest to Anna. won't you please sit down?"

Anna shuffled over to a seat and slowly sat down. The chair was the most uncomfortable thing Anna had ever felt, and it was almost as bad as the icy sensation of dread that multiplied in her stomach as she shifted her weight across the plush seat. The advisers all went around and said their names. There were only five of them so it wasn't hard for Anna to remember them, even if she zoned out a lot through a lot of them.

"Your probably wondering why we called you here, Your Majesty." Lars stated, wringing his hands uncomfortably. Anna's parents seemed to do that a lot when they were alive, especially when they were stressed or scared. Either way, Anna nodded nonetheless.

"Well as you know the Queen was supposed to return from her vacation in the mountains this afternoon." Gunter clarified softly, unable to explain it in any other terms than straight to the point, no matter what damage it dealt. "But when the carriage came to pick her up all they found was a letter. It was written by the Queen and... well you may as well read it yourself. Bjorne," He snapped his head over to them, gesturing towards Anna. "Please pass Princess Anna the letter."

And he did. But Anna didn't want to read it. She knew the words in this letter would change her life. Probably for the worst. But everyone was expecting her to read it. So she took a deep breath and began reading it in her head. It wasn't like she could say it out-loud, since she had a terrible feeling in her gut that told her that this was bad. Still, the letter wrote:

**Dear people of Arendelle,

After a lot of thought I have realized I am not fit to rule this kingdom. Even if I didn't have my magic I would never be able to continue my parents legacy. I believe it's for he better I am leaving. Please do not try to find me. My mind has been made.

Sincerely,

Queen Elsa.**

Anna sat there for a minute and just stared at the page. She couldn't wrap her mind around the fact this was real. It couldn't have been real, could it? Elsa was going to walk in and announce it was just some sort of joke. Anna traced her dear sister's writing, remembering how she was always straight and to the point. The Princess glanced up to the door, begging to the Gods that Elsa would casually walk in and explain herself.

But the door remained closed; like always.

"W-Why did I have to come here to read this?" Anna asked weakly.

One of the advisers sighed, though it was more through sorrow than sarcasm. Artemis then spoke up, even if Anna was still completely focused on the letter from her sister, perplexed as she attempted to wrap her head around the fact that her life was turned upside down without her consent. "Well, with the Queen gone there is the obvious questions of who will take over her position..."

"We figured that since you are, after all, the second in line to the throne, you are the one that we are now looking to to take over as the next Queen of Arendelle." Gunter said.

Anna gasped. Now, she perceived that a good sister would stand up and shout angry words of how she couldn't believe they wanted to replace her sister – especially so quickly. However, she'd refuse the offer and storm out, as Anna had secretly wished to be queen all of her life. She was jealous of her sister. But now her dream was finally coming true.

She'd be queen and no one could stop her.

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I'm so sorry that was so short! I already have the next chapter written so it'll be up soon. Don't worry the story isn't over yet. Anna needs to figure out what its like to be queen and whatever did happen to Elsa?


	4. Chapter 4

Before I even open my eyes, the first thing that I notice is the burning throbbing in my wrist; the opposite to what is inside of me. I groan. Why do cuts always have to sting as much, if not more, as they do when they're being made? I guess they just want you to know they are there. I open my eyes blearily and attempt to look at them, but my arm is covered in bandages. Strange. The next thing I feel is a weird buzzing, light-headed feeling in my head.

That's new. It sort of feels nice.

I close my eyes tightly. It's still dark, so I must have a little bit of time to sleep still. I wrap myself tighter in the blanket and snuggle into the bed, only to stop suddenly at the comforts. Aren't I in a cave before? I'm supposed to be dead! What's going on? Is this heaven or something? What a crummy way to enter it... I figure it can't be. If it was, then my arms wouldn't still be painted red under the bandages.

The bandages! How did they get there?

I open my eyes and bolt up, searching for answers. At first, all I see are dark colours and shapes, yet I force my eyes to focus. Across the bed stands a wooden wardrobe, and on the other side of the room is a desk. This is some sort of bedroom, obviously, but whom does it belong to? I quickly try to think back at what I last remember. I was cutting in the cave, I had finally hit a vein and I remember the blood gushing out of my arm. I felt this weird mix of joy and sorrow; joy that I'd be dead but sorrow for the same reason.

As if on cue, I hear loud footsteps walking towards the room without any warning whatsoever. I feel my heartbeat quicken and my breaths become far shakier than usual. My first thoughts are jumping to the conclusion that whoever is coming is some sort of murder, forcing me to hide under the covers without hesitation.

But then I think: why is it so scary if someone kills me? Isn't that what I wanted to do myself in the first place?It'll be good to die. But at someone else's hand? Probably not the same as suicide...

As I hear the door handle turn and the door creak open, I really freak out. I curl up into a little ball and hope whoever this is doesn't see me, whimpering softly in pure fear. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to see them. I manoeuvre the blanket so that I can see who it is. It Is still extremely dark, so I can only make out a large figure, broad shoulder and very tall. Obviously a man. I squint, trying to make out his face. His rugged features are almost familiar...

"Well looks like you finally woke up." A deep voice says, sounding very concerned. I soon find myself recognising the voice, and I rise up from the blankets before I even realise that I am; and I don't back down when I realise that I am some form of safety now that it all comes together. I clasp my hands together awkwardly as they dump the wood on the floor in the doorway, and I finally speak up.

"Kristof...?" I breathe in wonder, thousands, no, millions of questions penetrating my mind at once. "What are you doing here?"

He scratches the back of his head awkwardly, Sven groaning from outside. "Uh..." He stammers. "I live here?" He adds, more for me than himself. I bite my lip, although I stop myself quickly when I remember what happened last time I bit them so harshly. Still, it was going to be my salvation until something happened and I ended up here. Nonetheless, I still start my flurry of questions.

"What am I doing here?"

He shrugs. "Well, it's a long story." I gesture for him to sit at the edge of the bed, and he does so reluctantly. "I was going to tell you anyway..." Kristof assures me quietly. "I was coming back from Arendelle and up the Great Mountain when I... I saw blood in the snow." He shudders at the memory. "And I mean thick blood. So I followed to see where it led, and then I found you in the cave, your wrist in a pool of blood. You were passed out, but still alive. I decided to bring you here so you didn't die... or get eaten by vultures or... something."

It takes a minute to sink in, and I will openly admit now that it doesn't sit well.

"So your telling me I could have died... but you "saved" me?" I ask trying to remain cool. Even with all of the scars, the still healing scars, the magic still swarms up in my heart and palms underneath my skin. Kristof nods, unsure of what to say, and I hold back a groan of anger. Great. Just great! If it wasn't for this idiot, then I would be dead by now; thankfully too. Why would he just assume that I wanted to live? Didn't he see the blade? Couldn't he have guessed I wanted to die?

I'm in the midst of coming up with a rude, yet rather witty comment, he interrupts me and asks what had happened to let me end up in such a position that he found me in. I stare down at the blankets surrounding me in thought. It's almost weird because when no one pays attention to my self-hatred, I wish that someone would notice. But the minute someone even offers a chance to see my scars or hear of them, I just want to cover them up and act like they were never there.

I can't tell him that I was so eager to kill myself. He'll think I'm some kind of nut job, which isn't too far from the truth, I suppose.

"I, uh, I don't know. Must have... forgotten?" I offer, shifting my weight uncomfortably. "You know... with the whole passing out thing." I lie. Oh boy, this is going be awkward. I take a deep breath, unable to say or do anything else than sit there with a bowed head until I gain some kind of reaction from him; from anything. I hope he thinks I am healthy enough to be out on my own. Soon.

I don't think that I can spend another day with myself otherwise...


	5. Chapter 5

Living with a man is simply... strange. Living with someone else in general just makes me uncomfortable, though I guess it must be because I'm not used to being around people. I like my privacy, I always have, but I can never seem to find it ever since Kristoff found me a week ago. He never talks about what happened or asks me questions about it, which I am totally fine with. I can tell he's concerned. Or maybe that's just my imagination playing tricks on me; but that's nothing new.

I sigh and roll over on the bed. It's so boring here. I've had nothing to do but think, and it's driving me insane. I'm the last person that I want to spend time with – unless it's behind a locked door, in a dark room with complete isolation and a blade in my hand. Well, a sharp blade or else it's not even worth using. There's nothing around the house I can use that really sharp. You think since he cuts ice for a living he'd have something suitable. Trust me, I've looked everywhere, and I always tell myself I'll find something eventually that'll be perfect.

When I stop lying to myself, I'll never know.

A creaking sound, followed by slamming of a door pulls me from my thoughts. Kristoff must be back from his trip to Arrendelle. I'm not sure if it's considered a trip. Business trip sounds better. God that's the same thing! I bite my lip and sign. I'm so stupid sometimes. "Hey, Elsa, I'm back." Kristoff yells, his voice followed by a door creaking shut.

I don't move, even though I know I should probably say something so he doesn't think I'm dead. I wouldn't want him to him to give his hopes up. But now comes the struggle of thinking of what to say. I've never been good at talking. It'd probably be a lot easier to just go out there and talk to him.

It's strange; I've been awake for at least several hours so you think it wouldn't be so hard to regain my balance when I stand. I don't really wait for my legs to steady; I merely just start walking towards the door. I open the bedroom door to find Kristoff, still in the process of removing his many layers of clothing.

"So... how was the trip?" I ask awkwardly.

He glances up and notices me, for the first time since he's arrived. But he then returns his attention to his previous task. "It was interesting." He replied, probably feeling just as uncomfortable.

Interesting? How could going into the town and selling ice be interesting, I wonder?

"W-What for?" I ask curiously.

"Well... because you left, Arrendelle had to find a new ruler and I just so happened to come to town on their coronation day. Everyone was at the palace or in the streets of the castle trying to see the new Queen. Everything was closed; had to stay there another day to get anything sold."

I hadn't given much thought as to who would be my successor. I hadn't crossed my mind in all, in fact. At first I struggled to think of who it would be. But when realization hits me, I wanted to slap myself in the face; very, very hard. "Anna." I nearly cry. "Is Anna the new queen?"

"Yes." Kristoff agreed. "Most of the people weren't all that happy about it. They said she couldn't be "serious enough" to be the queen." I hadn't given much thought as to who would be my successor. It never crossed my mind I'd even have one. At least it was Anna, I guess.

"I'm sure she'll do a wonderful job." I say, more to myself than Kristoff.

There's a silence, then: "So why did you even leave?" He asks.

"Um..." I feel panic rushing over me immediately. It's strange, really. I've been dying for someone to ask me a question like that, but now that it's been asked I just want to run away and hide. I definitely can't tell him the truth. A little voice in the back of my head is asking me why. I choose to ignore it; I don't need to justify myself. "I, ah..." I cant think of a good excuse. I bite my lip. I can't take this. "I don't feel good; I'm going to go lie down." I reply quickly. I run as quickly as I can to the bedroom.

I sign after I close the door. That might not have been the best choice. Oh well. I don't need anyone looking down on me because of the truth.

(A/N) Yay there's another chapter! I know, I know, I'm such a bad person for not updating but hey, at least you got something now! I'd like to thank my amazing Beta, RandomButLoved for doing such a fabulous job at Beta-ing this. I swear this story wouldn't be half as good with out the help.

Anyways, i you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you all so much for reading this! Please review, it'd mean the world to me.

Stuff's gonna get pretty intense in the next chapter, so stick around.


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